The Importance of Integrity
There’s a model I developed several years ago that I want to share with you now. It helps us see how we became the person we are today; which, in turn, can give us some ideas about how to change and become the person we want to be.
Now, let’s take a look at each of the stages:
- Integration– From the moment we’re born, we begin taking in information. Everything we see, hear, smell, taste, touch, and feel is processed on one level or another. We develop our early beliefs about people and the world, as well as many of our early habits during this time.
- Disintegration– When we hit adolescence, our world starts to fall apart. We realize that we have a choice in who we become. We begin to struggle with our identity and experiment to find out who we really want to be.
- Reintegration– As we enter young adulthood, the pieces start to come back together. We begin to make decisions about who we are, what we believe, and what we value.
- Further Identity Formation– In our early adulthood, most of us are still open to the possibility of change. This is especially true of people with families, as they have to grow and adapt to support their spouse and children in an ever-changing world.
- Identity Fixation– At some point in our lives, we become much less malleable. We decide that we’ve gone as far as we’re going to go, and we’re done changing. Our personalities become fixed to a large degree. At this point, we either wind up as a person of integrity, living a fulfilled life; or we suffer from a lack of integrity, and feel like our life is incomplete.
What’s the point of this model?
It shows how we develop over time. It shows the stages when we’re most open to change and how we became the people we are today.
For most of us, the habits and behaviors that have shaped us came along sometime during our early lives, and we simply incorporated them into our identity.
We looked at potential defining behaviors and decided whether or not we wanted them to be a part of who we were becoming.
These decisions influenced our diet, our habits, our relationships, our careers, our personalities, and every other aspect of our lives.
Who we are today is either based on a sense of integrity and self-assurance, or it’s based on a lack of integrity and self-doubt.
Which option better describes you?
Do you feel like you’re living a fulfilled life, or do you feel like something’s missing?
There is a certain beauty to living a life of contentment.
I don’t mean that we settle for where we are and stop striving to better ourselves. I just mean that we’re happy with who we are (inside and out) and we’re no longer chasing after the acceptance and approval of other people.
Now, here’s the good news: If you’re unhappy with where you’re at in life, you don’t have to stay there!
Can it be harder to change later in life? Definitely.
Is it ever impossible to change? No way!
Here’s my three-part challenge to you:
- Take a moment to picture your funeral. Who’s there? What are they saying about you? Write those things down.
- Next, write down what you want people to say about you. How do you hope people will remember you when you’re gone?
- Write down the changes you would need to make between now and the end of your life in order to become that person
Go back to the seven areas of goal-setting we talked about before:
- Financial Goals
- Career/Business Goals
- Free Time/Family Time Goals
- Health/Appearance Goals
- Relationship Goals
- Personal Growth Goals
- Making A Difference/Legacy Goals
What would you like people to say about each of these areas of your life?
If you’re not satisfied with your life in one or more areas, what changes do you need to make?
Now, what’s one step you can take today to move toward becoming the person you’d like to be at the end of your life?
From there, map out the other changes you’d like to make. Then start setting goals and working toward them until the person you see in the mirror each day slowly becomes the person you want your family and friends to remember when you’re gone.
Will making these changes be a huge challenge for many of us? Sure, but what do you have to lose?
Set your goal on becoming the person you were born to be (the best possible version of yourself). Then set out to become that person because of what it will make of you to achieve it!
You never know where you might end up, or who you could end up inspiring on your journey!
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